Ball2Disc - Something to talk about
by BeeJay Shadowlady
Summary: They say everyone can conform oneself to changes. But most of the people strive for avoiding such a situation. Life is seen as a good and imperturbable thing, just the way it is. And if there happens a change whatsoever the ordinary human being can hardly believe what happened. But sooner or later he gets used to the strangest incidents. As there is Discworld, e.g.
1. Class Renuion

Everything started with the dawning of a morning and me awaking in an unfamiliar room. Above me, I could hear a quiet murmur and an occasional gnashing of teeth above of me. After a moment of hesitation, I remembered: Today my old junior highschool class would reunite!

We wouldn't meet in the city where the school had been but in the next bigger city. It suited me a lot, because I didn't like my erstwhile home town. It had been a small German town, nothing more than a shopping street with a suburb, on closer inspection. So I had been very pleased to have an alternative to meet the others. I enthusiastically had climbed onto the next express train and had moved into a Youth Hostel.

During my time at school, I hadn't had a very good relationship to my classmates. For the most part, the reason was that some of my classmates had leaned towards racism. I'm a dark skinned woman, so I had been a foreigner to their eyes.

So, suavity would be the best thing for me to expect. Nevertheless, I was anxious to the others' reaction about me. Because I had changed.

I had lost a lot of weight, and instead of long curls I had a short haircut now that suited me better. Comparing with the past, I was very content with my appearance. For this special occasion I had chosen a new red strap dress with a pattern of little white flowers. Small white buttons closed it on the front, from top to bottom. I had come to like wearing it. Despite of the quite warm autumn weather, I decided to wear a blue long sleeved shirt and a pair of short heeled boots with the jumper.

My roommate, a Vietnamese girl named Heather Lee, was a likeable one. We had talked until midnight.

I took my toilet bag and went for the shower. Suddenly, all lamps flared, and I could feel the ground shake beneath my feet. I winced and looked around. But I couldn't see any cause for this, so I shrugged and went into the shower.

Suddenly, my head was swimming so hard, I had to sit down in the shower cabin and close my eyes. After a few minutes, everything was back to normal again. So I stopped the shower and made haste to get dressed. The class would meet during the early afternoon, and I wanted to have a cup of coffee before that. I felt an urge to prepare mentally to face my former classmates again.

I took my black leathern jacket and my black clothbag, left the Youth Hostel and set out for downtown. But I didn't get very far. As soon as I reached a narrow alley I blacked out.

Regaining consciousness took a bit longer this time. At once, I realized something had changed.

First of all, there was a stench, much more intensive by far, touching my paranasal sinuses to the quick. As a reflex, I covered my nose and opened my eyes. In the next moment I wished I hadn't.

Instead of a brick wall I saw now irregular grey boulders piled up. They were held together with mortar that seemed to disintegrate by a piercing look. And instead of a smooth sidewalk, the floor was made of rough flagging, resembling the streets during the Middle Ages. However, I couldn't be sure of that, for the floor was heavily coated with filth and grime.

It startled me when I realized that I was sitting right in this filth with my brand new dress. Struggling to my feet at once, I snagged my dress on a sharp stone. The sudden movement tore the dress and ripped off a lot of the little white buttons on the low and on the top part of the dress. But that came to my mind much, much later, just like the fact that my bag was gone.

Carefully, I felt my way along the wall and tried to balance my impressions. My mind tried to find out what happened. My pulse quickened. I could feel it pounding in every vein. My legs were trembling. My nose was struggling to find a way to cope with the smell around me. And my hands were shaking badly.

Very carefully and slowly, I went to look around the next corner. I could hear voices discussing and laughing and promoting different goods. I could hear the clattering of horse hooves and the rattling and creaking of cartwheels.

My pulse slowed down a bit, and I took a deep breath. Wherever I was, this had to be a city, no doubt about that. There were people living here, and somewhere in this crowd I could find someone to help me.

Just in the minute I had finished this thought, I heard a voice that startled me. The voice was laughing in a high-pitched and nasally sounding tone. It was answered by another voice, sounding darker and a lot more orotund. Compared to the first one, it was a pleasant, clear tone.

The second voice was completely unheard-of to me, but the first one sent a shiver down my spine. So far, I had heard only one person laughing like this: Cecil Wormsborough St John Nobbs, alias Corporal Nobby Nobbs from Ankh-Morpork City Watch.


	2. First Encounter

A surprised look crept over my face. My heart began to pound faster again. My hands came alive: the left one covered my mouth, the right one reached for the bag to clutch it tighter to me. But then I realized it was gone. I looked for something to hold on and finally grabbed the wall close to me.

Step by step, the jigsaw pieces fell into place, revealing the mystery.

"It can't be possible," I whispered, "Ankh-Morpork? How in hell did that happen?" I couldn't believe it.

A few minutes ago, I had been walking through a German city, had been looking forward to a peaceful cup of coffee (and a few bites for breakfast, come to think of that), and now I was standing in Ankh-Morpork, believe it or not. I stood in the biggest city of Discworld, the city I had read many books and had seen a lot of movies about. Before my eyes I saw the symbiosis of proud Ankh and pestilent Morpork. The "Pearl of the Cities" as some would call it. Not because of her beauty or her shine, of course. This city was absolutely unique.

I didn't have the foggiest notion how I had gotten here. I didn't know where exactly I was, too, and if this place would be safe. But remembering the conventions of the Thieves' Guild I had read about, I reconsidered that thought quickly.

Cautiously, I went forward and looked around the next corner. There was a wide marketplace where vendors offered different goods. Soon I noticed that the scent of the city was mixed up with the smell of baked potatoes, roasted chestnuts, pickled onions and gherkins, different types of grilled meat and many more things. Altogether, it smelled almost pleasantly. Carefully, I moved into a corner and tried to calm down. I was inside of a city, offering safety. On the other hand, this wasn't any city. This was Anhk-Morpork. The only certainty here was uncertainty for the oddest things could be normal here.

I noticed a short skinny man with a vendor's tray walking over this marketplace and offering hot sausages. A little dark cap sat on his small round head, making him look like a rascal. I looked at him in astonishment and realized that it was no-one else than Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibbler. In some way it comforted me to see him and to know that I was facing Sator Square.

I began to walk across this square, listened halfheartedly to the talking and offerings the people said around me and shook my head each time someone tried to sell me something. There were puzzled, sometimes even stunned looks at my battered and unusual clothes, but I hardly noticed them.

I slowly walked around a few corners and winced every time someone came closer. But to my pleasure I wasn't bothered much so far. A few minutes later I came to a byroad and had almost screamed in terror. There was a young man lying on the floor who didn't move. Next to him another young man was convulsed with pain and groaning in agony. Two other young men watched them emotionless. The watchers were dressed in black, elegant looking suits. Obviously they were members of the Assassin's Guild.

The reason for the young men in pain was standing directly in front me. It was a big wooden box standing on lots of small, very human looking feet. Its convex lid was half-open, and to my astonishment I could see the chest snarling and baring ivory teeth. I gaped at the box opening the lid wider. A few moments later the two young men in black were gone. The box turned around and came towards me.

"Luggage?!" I exclaimed. The box stopped. It had no visible eyes but I was quite positive it was giving me an angry and suspicious look.

"What do you want?" this look was saying. „How come you know my name? I don't know who you are! So how do you know who I am?"

"I heard a great deal about you, you know, and everyone talking about called you the Luggage," I tried to explain. To my great relief the look grew a bit less angry. The suspiciousness remained all the same.

"I still don't know what do you want from me and who you are!" the look told me. I swallowed hard and hunkered down in front of the Luggage.

"I don't come from here," I said quietly, "I don't belong here, either. And I don't know how I came to this place. I need help." The expression of the Luggage's lock became perplexed. It seemed to wonder why this should be its problem.

"I have to find someone to help me. Someone who knows his way around this town and could show me a safe place," I continued, "Do you know where to find someone like this? Please do help me, Luggage; I don't know what to do." The chest looked at me and stepped towards me, making me get up. Then it went around me on its lots of feet and bunked my calves, making me sit down. I could only grip the lid before the Luggage started running.

The chest raced around three or four corners and came to a sudden halt. I almost dropped off. It let me get up and rattled the lid twice. The tall guy standing in front of us turned around very with great caution as if he expected an explosion of some sort. He was clad in a long cloak, a long coat and a pointy hat with a wide brim, all in the same reddish colour. A narrow dark brown belt was slung around the man's waist holding together the unbuttoned coat. I could see a light brown long shirt and very tight trousers of the same colour underneath the coat. Even without seeing the shaggy auburn beard and the word "wizzard" on the hat I knew that this was the failed magician Rincewind standing in front of me.

The books describe Rincewind as a tall man, and indeed he was a good deal taller than me. He stood about six feet, maybe more. The rawboned figure made him look even taller.

For a moment, it strook me rather odd that the Luggage had found him of all people. Rincewind wasn't said to be very brave. In fact, he was a coward. He wasn't given lots of respect in this town, either. But then it came to me. For one reason, the Luggage was owned by the wizard – or vice versa. Besides, being born and bred in Ankh-Morpork, he knew the place like the back of his hand. He would be able to tell me where to find a safe place. On top of everything, he was a kind man by nature, for all I knew.

"What do you want again?" asked Rincewind in an annoyed tone of voice and gave the chest an angry look, "Didn't I tell you to―"

The rest of the sentence was drowned out. I could see his lips moving, but there was no sound entirely. Not only Rincewinds voice was gone, but any other sound as well. I winced and looked around startled. The movements of the city had remained just the same. Only the sound had died away completely. I couldn't even hear my own heartbeat.

Rincewind looked beside the Luggage, spotting me. Appalled, he stepped backwards. First, his blue eyes darted towards my short hair, and then he looked at my dress as if to find a connection between the two things. I saw his brows moving up and down and tried not to think about the tore in my skirt or the buttons I had lost.

"Who... who are you?" he finally managed to say. With relief I noticed that the background noise had come back. Slowly, I raised my hands, palms up, and looked for the right words. I wanted to assure him that I didn't mean any harm to him and show respect to him likewise. Finally, I came up with an idea.

"Your chest, Sir," I explained, pointing towards the Luggage, "It brought me here, Sir." The wizard looked puzzled. I couldn't make out what astonished him more: my words or the fact that the Luggage didn't harm me in any way.

"Why?" he asked suspiciously. His bright blue eyes looked me up and down. They rested a little longer on my short black hair and my peanut-coloured skin.

"I don't know, Sir. You know, I don't come from here," I repeated my words to the Luggage, "I don't belong here, either. And I don't know how I came to this place. I need your help, Sir."

Rincewind eyed me again. This time his look rested at my eyes for a moment. Finally, he seemed to have come to the conclusion that I really wouldn't harm him. He squared his shoulders and stepped a bit closer.

"It's... er... it's not really necessary to call me... Sir... or something like that," he said. "I'm not... er... important enough... to be addressed... that way." He cleared his throat and extended a nimble-fingered hand connected to a long arm.

"My name is Rincewind," he introduced himself, "I'm a wizard at Unseen University and Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography."

"My name is Barbara," I repeated, shaking his hand.

"What kind of help do you need, Miss Barbara?" Rincewind asked. When it was calm, his voice was mellow and friendly. I took a deep breath and thought about the right words again.

"Well, I do hope you can help me, Rincewind," I finally said, "My actual home is the Roundworld."

Rincewind stood saucer-eyed for a moment.

"Roundworld, you say?" he repeated, "That world? Really?"

The wizard's great astonishment had a particular reason. More or less accidentally, the ball called "Roundworld" had been created by the faculty of Unseen University a while ago. Among many other things, Rincewind was responsible for the ball, being Egregious Professor of Cruel and Unusual Geography. It was standing on a shelf in his office. But it seemed that he hadn't looked at it recently.

I nodded. The wizard doubtfully looked at me, shaking his head.

"But... How... I mean, how did you get here?", he asked flabbergasted.

"Can't say," I confessed quietly, "All I remember is fainting twice and finally waking up here. Over there, on Sator Square, to be more exact. Well, at least I think it was Sator Square. That's all I know."

Out of a sudden, I felt a sting of tears. I didn't know what to do or where to go. Besides there was the fact that I was dying for some food or a drink.

"May I ask how do you know about Sator Square?" Rincewind asked, his voice carrying a hint of distrust. "If you're a stranger, I mean."

Crying hard now, I tried to explain that I once had read about it and just had remembered the fact. I didn't know if the wizard believed me. He just kept looking at me in surprise. He didn't seem to be familiar to a stranger's tears.

"I... I'm sorry, but I don't know what to do, either", he said quietly.

"I beg your pardon, "I sobbed helplessly, "I really didn't mean to bother you." I turned around to leave when I felt something touching my shoulder.

"Hey... I mean... Please wait,", said Rincewind, pulling back his fingers from my shoulder. He seemed to remember I had called him "Sir". He seemed to remember that I had tried to show him some respect. And he seemed to realize that I was a lot more defenseless than him, believe it or not.

The wizard rummaged his pockets and brought forth a handkerchief. Then, he carefully nudged my shoulder again. I looked at the handkerchief. It looked as battered as the robe itself but I took it gratefully and dried my eyes.

"I mean, you can't walk the town just like that and hope you wouldn't get harmed," he added, "This can be a very dangerous place, Miss Barbara." He took back his handkerchief and challenged me to follow him.

"Are you really able to help me, Rincewind?" I asked. Rincewind gave this a thought.

"I... er... I'm not quite sure,", he said and managed to smile a little. It was weary and a bit awkward, but it was definitely a smile.

"But I can take you to someone who might," he added.


	3. An overdue meal

Making haste, Rincewind went along the streets towards Unseen University. Following his long strides gave me great deal of trouble, despite of the short distance. The Luggage gained on us quickly and stopped to let me climb on top again. It was an offer I took gratefully. I held onto the lid and lifted my legs.

Together, we went through the gate of Unseen University and entered the Great Hall. Rincewind stopped near the door. The Luggage sat down next to him. Its legs disappeared.

I dared to look past the scrawny wizard. My look fell onto a long table with elderly bearded men sitting around. They had any possible shapes of body measurements. But then I caught an even more interesting sight: a long table containing different bowls of food. My stomach rumbled audibly.

"Ah, Rincewind!" exclaimed one of the men who was sitting at the head of the table, "There you are! And right on time for lunch, I do declare!"

"I need to talk something over with you, Archchancellor," replied Rincewind. The man knit his brows.

"Is there any chance to wait until after lunch?" he grumpily demanded.

"Unfortunately not, Sir. It is a kind of urgent case," Rincewind said and moved aside, "I'm not alone, you know." The men nearly dropped knife, fork and spoon when they caught a sight of the Luggage and me. They gave me looks of shock and curiosity and whispered excitedly.

It was the man on the head of the table who recollected first. He got up, smoothed his robe and came towards us. I arose myself and did my best to adjust my clothing. But I failed completely. The dirt of Ankh-Morpork had stuck to the seam of my dress and my boots. In addition, the buttons that had come off and the skirt that had torn open up to the waist didn't improve my appearance at all.

The man stopped directly in front of Rincewind. They were about the same size but the other man was stout enough to outweight Rincewind easily. A white full beard made his face look like the face of a grandfather. His eyes sitting beyond white eyebrows completed the impression. They had a stern yet benevolent look.

The man wore a pointy head, too, but his hat was quite different. It was much more well-preserved than the one on Rincewind's head and more emblazed than the other wizards' hats. First of all, it was taller. Besides, it had a jewelled brim. The tip was made of metal. Someone had attached a lot of fishing hooks to the hat.

I considered my remembering a few moments. Finally the penny dropped. This was Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully.

The Archchancellor looked me up and down.

"Archchancellor, meet Miss BeeJay," Rincewind introduced, "She says, she comes from Roundworld and asks for help."

"Roundworld, you say?" asked Ridcully. The other wizards exchanged stunned glances and whispers.

"What's your full name, young lady?" Mustrum Ridcully contacted me. His deep voice sounded as if being accustomed to orders.

"My name is Barbara Joann," I replied, trying to focus on him.

"I'm Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully," Ridcully answered. I concentrated and managed a polite nod.

"I heard a great deal about you, Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully," I said, "And you're told to be a very wise man, Sir." However, my eyes were drawn towards the buffet on the other table again. The Archchancellor followed my gaze and smiled a bit amused.

"Would you like to have a bite to eat?" he asked.

"Do I!" I exclaimed, almost crying with relief, "I would be so grateful for such a favour, Sir!"

A little later, I had emptied a plate of creamy potato mash, two slices of tender meat and two slices of bread with butter. Feeling a lot better, I took a very deep breath.

"Thank you very much, Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully, Sir," I smiled. The Archchancellor nodded in reply. He had taken his seat again. Rincewind sat face to face with me, eating a big bowl of mashed potatoes himself. His narrow face had an impression of great savouriness.

Unlike Rincewind, the Archchancellor didn't seem to argue against being called "Sir".

"So, tell me how you got here, Miss," he inquired when he saw I was entirely full.

"I can't tell for sure, Sir," I said and reported the occurrences of the mornings. I mentioned the shaking of the ground and finished my tale with me fainting and waking up here in Ankh-Morpork.

Every now and then, Ridcully or Rincewind interrupted to ask for details. Once my tale was interrupted by the strange silence rolling over the city. This time it seemed to be longer. As Rincewind explained, Old Tom, the University's magical bell, was tolling out another hour. It didn't have a tongue anymore, but the bell nevertheless continued to carry out its duty to strike the hours.

The other wizards had remained silent so far. They just had given Rincewind and me some room to sit and had listened.

"Excuse me, dear young lady," said a medium-sized man with white hair and a pointed beard down to his breastbone, "This is indeed an interesting tale, I do declare. But what is it you want us to do about this?" Unless I wasn't mistaken, this was the Senior Wrangler. A wizard of great knowledge and quite little tact, as far as I remembered.

"I was told a good deal about your skills, gentlemen. I hope you can help me solve the problem," said I, "I would like to know what exactly has happened."

"How?" another wizard said sternly, "Do you expect us to snap our fingers and hope the best, Miss? Magic is not that easy, I'm afraid." The speaker was an extremely obese man. So I could be certain I was dealing with the Dean. Two other wizards I couldn't place at first go agreed with him.

If I'd knew that, I wouldn't bother to ask, would I, I thought. But I bit my tongue. Any wrong word now might spell unnecessary disaster.

"I knew it!" This exclamation had been made by another magician who was sitting aside. I could place him without any doubts. Being the youngest on the table and having no beard, this could be no one else than Ponder Stibbons.

The young man eyed me interested and started talking about space and time. But he soon noticed that I didn't get his words and the others weren't listening at all. He pulled a sour face, adjusted his glasses, hid his face in his cup and fell silent.

So did the other wizards. The only sound was caused by Rincewind chewing constantly.

"Isn't there anything written down in the books?" I wondered after a while. Still the silence continued until Rincewind arose, wiped his mouth and went out.

"What's on his mind?" I addressed Mustrum Ridcully. The Archchancellor made a dignified face and got ready to answer when another voice spoke up. It had an oddly squeaking sound.

"Red," someone said. I looked around and noticed the shortest wizard, a thin, frail-looking man whose face had a distant impression as if he had been dozing or something. Now the impression changed. A grin spread, making his face look a bit off-the-wall.

"Red!" he demanded again. Mustrum Ridcully cleared his throat and looked at the man I recognized as the Bursar.

"The Bursar says, he'll ask the Librarian," he explained.

Rincewind returned with an orang-utan waddling at his heels. The ape planted himself in front of me and looked me up and down.

"This is the Librarian," Rincewind said and sat down again, "I told him about you. So he came to see for himself." The Librarian extended a big hand resembling a large black leathern glove. I shook it carefully.

"Pleased to meet you," I said. The Librarian gave me a friendly nod and a tooth-ridden grin. He climbed onto the chandelier to make himself at home. Then he looked at me again and uttered a few meaningful sounds.

"He says he knows the details of every book in the library, and he can't remember anything like this," Rincewind translated. His mouth twitched.

"Thank you all the same," I said, looking at the ape and giving him a shy smile. Then I peeked at Rincewind. Somehow I began to feel sorry for him.

After all, I had asked him for help, and coming to think of it, he could have said no, couldn't he? But he hadn't. Besides, it wasn't his fault that there wasn't anything in the books.

"Is there any other possibility to find out?" I asked Mustrum Ridcully. Again, the wizards fell silent and gave this a long thought. This time the silence was broken by a sound very similar to a cat coughing up something. When I looked, I noticed it had been the Bursar. The skinny man coughed for a few minutes before he slowly reached into his pocket and brought forth a little bottle. There were small white pills inside. He shook three pills onto his palm, swallowed them, closed his eyes and managed to say, "Ri... Ri... Ritual."

His voice was still high and pitching, but it bore more self-assuredness than before – as if he had waken up. He gave me a friendly glance.

"What do you mean by that, old chap?" Mustrum Ridcully asked.

"The... ritual... of... AshkEnte," answered the Bursar and looked at his colleagues. The thought crossed my mind that he hadn't been on such a different planet at all.

I swallowed hard. For all I knew, the ritual of AshkEnte wasn't a minor thing at all. It was used to conjure Death himself.

"Are you really sure about that, old chap?" Mustrum Ridcully assured himself, "He is really busy, you know."

"He is extremely busy, I do declare," the Senior Wrangler piped in, "We can't summon Him up all the time." The other wizards nodded in unison. The Librarian uttered a few sounds.

"The Librarian is in doubt about that, too," Rincewind translated again.

"I don't think we have any choice about this," the Bursar said slowly, "No one among us knows how the young lady has gotten here. We don't know what to do, either. So maybe He will."

Ponder Stibbons opened his mouth. Then he reconsidered and bit his tongue.

The Archchancellor cleared his throat and looked at the wizards.

"Very well then. We'll carry out the ritual of AshkEnte tomorrow," he said. The other wizards nodded. Two emotions moved me deeply. First Hope entered and chanted about finding a solution. Fatigue interrupted promptly.

"Excuse me, gentlemen," I said, "I'm very tired. Could I lay down somewhere and get some rest, please?"

The wizards looked at each other again. But this time their glances showed a feeling of discomfort. Then, after a couple of minutes, all the wizards, bar two, arose quickly, gave me a polite nod and left the room. The Archchancellor took Rincewind's arm and drew him into a corner.

I couldn't hear them talking but I saw the Archchancellor taking a small leathern bag from his belt and opening it. He took a few coins from the bag and handed them to Rincewind. The scrawny wizard looked at the coins as if he had been commanded to make enough clothing for the entire Discworld out of three small spools of thread.

"I'm sure Mrs Marietta Cosmopilite has a room for rent," I heard the Archchancellor say, "I want you to take the Miss there until tomorrow, Rincewind. Look after her and take care of her."

"Why me?", asked Rincewind. He gave me a glance from the corner of his eyes and grimaced.

"You did bring the Miss here, didn't you?" Mustrum Ridcully said, "To my opinion, that makes you responsible for her."


	4. Ankh-Morpork Nights

The tall and thin wizard known as Rincewind was used to run. So this time I had to try twice as hard to catch up his speed. Quirm Street wasn't round the corner of Unseen University. Indeed, it was quite far from it. Besides, Fatigue was growing stronger and stronger. But I clenched my teeth. However, I was sad because the Luggage had stayed in the University.

Finally, Rincewind slowed down and came to a halt in front of a small house. It looked clean, friendly and closed. Exhausted, I leaned against the wall next to the door and closed my eyes.

The wizard grabbed an iron door handle and pulled. He looked at a sign on the door and sighed. I took a deep breath and looked at the sign myself but I couldn't read it.

"What... What's it saying?" I panted.

"Unfortunately, there are no rooms available at the moment. I beg your pardon. Mrs Marietta Cosmopilite," Rincewind morosely read out to me.

"Never mind," I said against better judgement, "I'm sure I'll find another place to stay."

"You wouldn't last five minutes, Miss Barbara," answered the wizard gloomily, "I can't leave you here just like this. I'm responsible for you. Ridcully told me so."

Out of a sudden, he snapped his fingers, turned around, grabbed my wrist and hurried along. I staggered behind him while the darkness grew more and more. Finally, the wizard stopped again and looked to his left and his right. Then he pointed towards a small building nearby.

"In there!" he commanded, pulling me forth. The building was an old barn and storage room. I could see old carriages and stuff. A short rickety ladder was leading towards the attic. We climbed up and sat onto big heaps of straw. Rincewind pulled an old blanket from a corner, shook it out and gave it to me.

"Thank you, Rincewind," I said quietly.

"Never mind," Rincewind said tight-lipped. He pulled his robe tighter around himself and fell silent. I tucked myself into the blanket and tried to sleep. However, it was useless. Strange pictures haunted my dreams, and so I gave up.

The wizard hadn't moved a bit. He still had his robe pulled tight around his body. I could see his bony shoulders shiver.

"You're very cold, are you?" I wondered. There was no answer from Rincewind but a murmuring under his breath. I arose and sat close to him before I put the blanket around the both of us.

"You're responsible for her," the Archchancellor had said. To my opinion, that wasn't fair. Why should he be the one to pay for his kindness?

The wizard's bright blue eyes gave me a look of distrust and amazement. He seemed to wonder what to think about my treatment. Obviously, he wasn't used to that. Finally he took the blanket, covered us properly and cuddled up in a better position.

"Thank you," I heard him mumble.

"You're welcome," I replied.

We were both staring into the darkness and listening for the occasional rustling caused by some rodents. Every now and then the city was completely silent. By now, I was almost used to the inaudible bell of Old Tom. It didn't scare me anymore.

"Rincewind?" I asked in a whisper after the silence had stopped.

"Uhm?" he replied likewise.

"What do you think about the ritual? Do you think it's worth trying?"

"Alas, I don't have the best relationship with... you know... Death," said the wizard after taking a couple of deep breaths, "But he is quite a clever guy, I think. I'm sure he'll find an answer."

"Oh!" That was all I could say. I knew that Rincewinds wasn't on good terms with Death at all. Again we felt silent.

"Why do you ask?" the wizard inquired at last.

"Doggone if I know," I lied. Of course I knew. I had asked because deep inside me, I was really depressed. I felt pitiful, even helpless.

Still, I was none the wiser concerning being here. I had to hope for Death's answer. And assuming that he wouldn't be able to tell me what happened... Even the Grim Reaper wasn't told to be all-knowing.

"I just think I'm scared. I don't know what to do if Death can't tell me," I finally said. I didn't feel good to be dishonest to Rincewind.

„Well... I... I think you'll have to see," the wizard said, obviously trying to comfort me with these words. But I didn't feel any comfort. My tears rolled afresh. I wiped my face with my sleeve and tried to calm down. However, I couldn't.

Something touched my shoulder. It was a very soft touch and made me raise my head. Rincewind had put his hand on my shoulder, in a very careful and gentle and quite timid way. The gesture ought to be soothing, but his fingers were trembling and his face was showing an impression of confusion and helplessness. Apparently, he wasn't familiar with such situations.

Desperately, I tried to stop crying. I was uncomfortable with causing more troubles for him. But it took me a few minutes to calm down again. The wizard dug his pockets again to find his handkerchief and handed it over. I took it, wiped my face and blew my nose.

"Thank you very much," I mumbled, "And thank you for being here, too."

"Never mind," Rincewind said again. But this time I noticed a change in his voice. The first time he had almost snarled these two words, his voice sounding like a piece of burlap. Now his voice was much more pleasant, almost soft.

I laid back and suddenly touched something underneath the blanket. After a moment of astonishment, I realized that it was Rincewinds left hand. Carefully, I dared to strike his palm.

The wizard winced. Then he looked at me and returned the touch. His palm felt used and rough. But feeling another person beside of me soothed me. I felt my heartbeat and breathing slow down when his long fingers closed around mine.

Finally, Sleep overwhelmed me.

Waking up, the first thing I saw was a reddish piece of sky. It confused me a bit until I realized that this was dawn. I hardly ever awake that early.

Rincewind was lying next to me, being wide awake already. His head was resting on his right arm. The other hand was still holding mine.

"Morning," I said.

"Did you sleep well?" Rincewind looked at me.

"I did," I replied and sat up. Then I caught a sight of our hands. Rincewinds gaze followed. Slowly, he released my hand. He noticed my look and managed a little encouraging smile. After a while, I returned it. Thus we were looking at each other for a couple of minutes. None of us spoke until the wizard lowered his gaze.

"I... I... I think... we should get some breakfast," suggested he quietly. He cleared his throat and added, "World is getting better with a full belly, you know." All I could manage was a nod.

Side by side, we returned to Unseen University. But his time the way seemed twice as long to me. Mostly this was because Rincewind didn't hurry. He had buried his hands deep into the pockets of his coat and sauntered along the streets of Ankh-Morpork. I followed him patiently, giving him a look every now and then. In secret, I was very glad he was with me.

We could see something moving an the gate. It was the Luggage marching back and forth. When it spotted us, turned around, ran towards us and stopped right on time before knocking its master over.

"Will you behave yourself!" ordered the wizard. I knelt down and touched the chest's lid.

"Good morning," I said. The Luggage uttered a small creaking. Then it lifted its front, looking at me first, then at its master. The look from its lock was a bit stunned, then it became perplexed. Out of a sudden, the Luggage turned around and rushed into the University like a scalded cat.

"What's with it?" I wondered, getting up.

"Search me," Rincewind answered and shrugged, "I never learned to understand this damned thing." Again, he gave me a glance from the corner of his eyes.

"Well, come on, then," he said, "Breakfast time."

The other wizards had already entered the Great Hall. There was an unseated chair on the right and left side from Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully.

"Have a seat, Miss, please do sit down," the Archchancellor said, "I assume you had had a pleasant night?"

I agreed and helped myself with a cup of tea, sugar, a boiled egg, two slices of toast and a few pieces of fruit. A big black hand placed three bananas next to my plate. I turned my head to face the Librarian's big brown eyes. He gave me a tooth-ridden smile from ear to ear.

"Thank you," I said.

The wizards took their time for breakfast, as long as it took the Bursar to finish his porridge. I decided to have a second helping of toast and fruits while waiting for them to finish.

Finally, the Archchancellor looked over the table and cleared his throat.

"Very well, gentlemen," he said, "I think, it's time."


	5. Watch & Warrant

Led by the Archchancellor, the wizards and me entered in a small room next to the Great Hall. It was dim. A dozen of black candles hardly lit it up. The wizards surrounded a small table with extremely short legs.

Rincewind was the last wizard who entered the room. He told me to wait near the door and gave me a short glance before he moved to his place.

I could hear Mustrum Ridcully recite a kind of spell. I didn't understand any of his words but it sounded solemn and important to me.

A small whisp of cloud showed up and grew fast, forming a very tall figure very soon. It stood about 7 ft and was hooded and cloaked, clad all in black. A few seconds later a white skull appeared, followed by a long scythe held by bony hands. In fact, the hands were nothing but bones.

Death raised his head and looked at Mustrum Ridcully.

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?" a voice said. It was so deep that I could rather feel than hear it, reminding me of a synthesizer's bass key.

"I summoned you because there is a problem," Mustrum Ridcully answered. Death cocked his head slightly.

"I'M ALL EARS," he said.

"We have a visitor from Roundworld. And we don't know how it happened." The Archchancellor beckoned me over. Slowly, I came next to Mustrum Ridcully. But all I could think of was my battered dress and felt slightly out of place. So I didn't dare to raise my head. I was staring at Death's cloak instead.

"LOOK AT ME," demanded the Grim Reaper. I obeyed. His empty sockets looked me over.

"YOUR NAME IS BARBARA, ISN'T IT?" he said in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. I nodded.

"AND YOU WEREN'T BORN HERE, WERE YOU?" he continued. I nodded again.

"I was born on Roundworld," I added, trying to explain.

"SO WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME NOW?"

Once again, I reported what had happened and finished, "I'd like to know how all of this has happened and if there's a way to get back."

Death fell silent. He raised his right hand and snapped his fingers. A book seemed to appear from nowhere.

"DO YOU KNOW THIS?" he demanded. I shook my head. Sounding amused, Death said, "BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT." He extended his arm and brought the book close to my face.

Reading the title took my breath away.

"Barbara Joann," I read quietly before my first and middle name changed their letters from "Barbara Joann" into "BeeJay" and my family name disappeared completely.

A clammy ball filled my stomach and every part of my body. I wasn't able to breathe or think properly for a moment.

"Miss? What is this?" Mustrum Ridcully piped in.

"I remember something I had read once," someone said. I hardly recognized the voice as my own.

"Every creature of Discworld is listed in Death's library, is it?" I continued. Death nodded.

"SO YOU DO KNOW ABOUT IT, DON'T YOU?" he remarked. I looked into his face.

"I... I imagine I... do have... a life timer as well, do I?" Now my voice was nothing more than a whisper.

The tall skeleton nodded again and picked something from his cloak that resembled a big egg timer. But there were small frets on the glass making it look more important and precious. I looked at it, drew a deep breath and collapsed.

When I regained consciousness, my environment had changed. I saw a small clean room, not unlike a meager equipped hotel room. It held a wardrobe, a wash bowl and a bed. The room was dimly lit by a few candles. I found myself lying in the bed. To my astonishment, I was wearing a white and very large nightgown. My other clothing was spread over a chair nearby. There was a small window. I could see that the night had come down already. After a while, I spotted Rincewind sitting in a corner on the Luggage and dozing.

I sat up carefully. But I couldn't stifle a moaning. The sound made Rincewind open his eyes and straighten up.

"Oh!" he exclaimed, looking relieved, "You have awakened!"

"What happened?" I asked, touching my forehead.

"You had a blackout," the wizard said and sat down on the edge of the bed. The Luggage came closer and sat down itself.

"I already had an awful feeling this might have happened," I sighed, "And where am I?"

"This is the guesthouse of Mrs Marietta Cosmopilit. I have brought you here."

"You didn't carry me all the way yourself, did you?" I wondered. After all, the guesthouse was far from Unseen University, and Rincewind was far from being very strong. The ghost of a smile touched the wizard's mouth.

"Yes and no," he said. "I had a little wooden helper, you know." The Luggage creaked affirmatively. It seemed to have calmed down again.

"I thought a little peace wouldn't do you any harm," Rincewind added, "By the way, the nightgown is from Mrs Cosmopilit. She put it on you." I managed a thankful nod.

"Where is Death?" I inquired. Rincewind shrugged.

"He disappeared after you blacked out," he said. He sounded as if he wouldn't argue against this. I sighed again and rubbed my hands.

Right here and now, I seemed to be safe. Fine by me. But what now? I felt a sting of tears and couldn't help crying. Rincewind gave me a desperate look.

"Please... Barbara... I mean... Please don't cry," he begged, touching my arm bashfully, "It won't change anything."

"I know, I know!" I sobbed helplessly, "But this isn't right! It just isn't right!"

"What do you mean?" the magician asked carefully.

"Me! All of this here!", I cried, pointing vaguely around me, "I don't belong here! I wasn't born here! I'm not a Discworld woman!"

"But it's a fact now, as it seems," Rincewind said diffidently, bringing forth his handkerchief, "Well... no, you weren't born here, but... you have come here. And you seem to be a part of this world now."

I wiped my eyes and tried to calm down again. I was thinking of an argument against these facts, but I failed. It was impossible after seeing the book and the life timer. A Discworld inhabitant's basic equipment, in a manner of speaking.

"But I still don't know what happened," I said crestfallen, "You can't change a world the way you change a pair of boots or something."

"Maybe this will throw some light on the case," said Rincewind and pulled a few sheets of paper from his pockets. He searched a while. Then he nodded.

"Ponder Stibbons has done some research with HEX, he told me," he continued.

I had to give this a thought for a moment. Then the penny had dropped. HEX was a thinking machine, not unlike a personal computer I had been used to on Roundworld. Ponder Stibbons had created it and used it to find solutions for problems. Or problems for solutions, depending on the situation.

"As far as I understood Ponder, HEX has discovered unsteadiness in space and time, just for a small moment," the wizard continued.

"Unsteadiness, he said?" I wondered, "Something like a hole?"

"Well, that's one thing I couldn't understand," Rincewind confessed. I gave him a glance of disappointment that made him knit his brows.

"What?" he asked, sounding a bit huffy, "After all, I'm a man of wizardry, not of science!"

"Sorry," I said, "I didn't mean to insult you or something." The wizard accepted the apology with a wave of his hand.

"Maybe you should talk to Ponder yourself.", he suggested.

"Maybe I should," I agreed and took a deep breath. The wizard and I fell silent until I heard a sound from my stomach, indicating that breakfast had been long ago. Rincewind slapped his forehead.

"Oh, bugger!" he exclaimed, "I almost forgot!" He arose and stepped up to the Luggage.

"Open!" he ordered. The Luggage obeyed at once. Rincewind searched awhile until he had found a big basket. He ordered the Luggage to close the lid and placed the basket carefully onto the blanket. .

"I thought a bit of food wouldn't do you any harm," he said. There were small bowls with different kind of food. I could see small pieces of cold meat, a few sandwiches, a piece of cheese, a bottle of wine, a piece of bacon, a bowl of hard boiled eggs, a few bananas and a bowl of creamed mash.

"Where did you get all that in the middle of the night?" I wondered.

"There's a lot to say about Unseen University," Rincewind said, "Most people there are quite bothersome, frankly spoken. Sometimes you wonder if everything is quite kosher there. Very often, it's hard to keep your sanity. And you never should think too long or too much about something you see there."

"That doesn't sound very positive," I wondered. The thought crossed my mind that Rincewind wouldn't take stock in his working and living place. A whimsical smile crept into the failed wizard's face as he took a pair of knives, a pair of forks, a pair of spoons and a pair of napkins from the basket.

"I mean there are better places in the world than Unseen University," he explained, "But food is always available there, at any time."

* * *

The paid attention was something Ponder Stibbons enjoyed much. His face was glowing beneath the pointy hat.

It was the next day. The Archchancellor, the Senior Wrangler, Rincewind and me were standing in the High Energy Magic Building. Rincewind had told the Archchancellor about HEX' results.

The night before, Rincewind and me had been talking until we had fallen asleep, and when I had been waking up, I had noticed Rincewind's hand lying on mine again. However, this time the wizard had seemed to be a bit embarrassed. He had winced, had taken his hand off and had given me a shy glance.

"Time and space are fitting together like a net," Ponder explained now, adjusting his glasses, "And one of these parts has grown thin for a few minutes. So it was possible for you to come through, Miss."

"So there is a possibility for me to go back?" I asked. Ponder frowned and shrugged.

"I don't know yet," he said and turned around to face the machine.

"HEX? Did you find a solution yet?" he inquired. At first, there was nothing but a lot of rattle inside of the pipes of HEX. Then the quill was moved.

+++ Hello, Ponder. Good Day, Miss. +++ it wrote.

"Good day, HEX," I answered, "I'm told you discovered unsteadiness in space and time, did you?"

+++ That Is Correct. For A Few Minutes, There Was A Little Passage Visible. +++

Hope made my heart turn a somersault.

"So you could find it again, could you?" My lips trembled.

+++No.+++ HEX replied. My heart dropped.

"But why this?" I whispered.

+++ The Unsteadiness Has Disappeared. The Way Is Shut, In A Manner Of Speaking. +++

This was a clear answer. Indeed, it was a very frightened answer as well. Sighing, I rubbed my face, fighting back my tears. For a while nobody spoke.

"I hope... I hope I could help, Miss," Ponder finally said. I shrugged.

"I don't know," I muttered, "I mean, thank you for trying, Ponder. And HEX, of course. But the truth is, I don't know what to do now."

Silence replied. Ridcully stiffled a coughing and fumbled with his pipe. The Senior Wrangler showed great interest in his boots. Ponder Stibbons looked at HEX' pipes. And Rincewind's gaze wandered around. After a while, he started looking at my left ear.

"Well, thank you very much, gentlemen," I finally said, turning to Rincewind.

"Could you walk me out?" I asked. The magician nodded. He even walked me back to the guesthouse. A few times I heard him taking a deep breath as if to say something. Yet he remained silent.

Rincewind put his hand on my shoulder when he said goodbye and even managed a little smile. But I couldn't return it. I didn't feel like smiling. So he took his hand off and scattered away.

I went into my little room and sat on the bed. I felt helpless and lost.

The worst thing was that I had no idea about the future. I was born and bred in the 20th century. My life was based on technology and stuff like this. But Discworld, just like Roundworlds 18th or 19th century, didn't work on technology. So everything I had learned, all my experience was useless.

I remembered the important people of my life. People I held dear, and here and now, in loud and crowded Ankh-Morpork, I came to realize that I'd never see anyone of them again.

The weather began to change for the worse. My only wardrobe was a dirty, battered dress that was soaked with sweat. I had no money.

I was stuck.


	6. Surviving Ankh-Morpork

For two days there was no noticeable change. I spent most time in bed, watched the ceiling and cried every now and then. Rincewind showed up during the evenings. Mostly he brought some food, a fact I was grateful for. He stayed to give me some company as well. But his face was desperate when he did this. As if he was uncertain what to do.

The food kept me alive. I hadn't taken heart to look for a job yet. Mostly because I didn't have any idea of which one. But I couldn't wait any longer. Somehow I had to get some money. If not for nourishing me, I had to find a way to stay at Mrs Cosmopilit's guesthouse.

The third day hadn't dawned yet when I awoke by an uncertain feeling and sat upright in bed. I looked around and winced. Death was sitting on the chair next to the bed, his chin resting on a bony hand. The scythe was lying on the floor.

"You scared me," I remarked after a few minutes.

"I'M SORRY," Death said, looking me over, "YOU'RE ALREADY TOLD ABOUT IT, DIDN'T YOU?" I nodded sadly.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TO DO NOW?" he asked.

"Not a single one, I'm afraid."

"WELL, THEN I CAN BE OF SERVICE, I THINK," Death said, "GET DRESSED AND COME WITH ME."

I arose from the bed and took my clothes. They had been hanging on the back of the chair for days.

But then I hesitated.

"Where do you want to take me?" I wondered. The bony grin seemed to spread.

"YOU'LL SEE."

A couple of hours had passed, and my point of view had changed a lot. Death had been of service, no doubt about that.

First, we had gone to Mrs Cosmopilit, and Death had paid for my room. I had no idea how much money the elder lady had been given. But her face told me that it might have been quite a lot.

Next, we had called on a tailor who made me a new set of clothes. I marvelled at six dresses for warm weather, six dresses for cold weather, four long skirts, three short-sleeved and four long-sleeved blouses. Furthermore, I had a couple of undergarments and nightgowns made as well as two long hooded cloaks.

After this, Death led me to a shoemaker. He said that new dresses were nothing without new shoes. So I came by two pairs of black laced boots with different sized heels.

At last, there was a job I could do with. It would be starting at the first day of the next month. In Gleam Street there was the editiorial office of Ankh-Morpork Times, the biggest newspaper in town. They demanded someone to do the errands. I would have to do things like cleaning the room or fetching food and drinks. In fact, I would be just a female errand-boy but that was better than sitting around inactively.

Death and I paused to sit in a small pub called "Curry Gardens". I was my first time to eat curry, and I cherished it a lot.

During the shopping I had noticed something about the people talking to Death. Of course, they were polite and obliging. But their eyes had a strange glimmer whenever they looked at the tall skeleton. I wondered what they might see but I didn't dare to ask.

Death watched me eating and asked a few things concerning Roundworld. Especially he wondered about technical stuff. So I did my best to explain him. However, that wasn't as easy as I thought. If Death was thinking of a thing to be more of he wouldn't be satisfied with the simple answer I could give.

At last, the Grim Reaper took me and my new stuff back to the guesthouse.

"I thank you so very much, Death," I said and shook Death's hand right smart. Of course, I knew it sounded awkward, but I didn't know what else to say. He dismissed my awkwardness with a wave of his hand.

"NO NEED TO BE SHAMEFACED OR SOMETHING. AFTER ALL, YOU WERE BRAVE ENOUGH TO ASK FOR HELP," he said, "SO I'M GLAD THAT I COULD DO THIS ONE THING FOR YOU AT LEAST." He barely bowed his head to me, shouldered his scythe and left by walking through the next wall.

I put my new clothes away and asked Mrs Cosmopilit if I could take a bath. A smile crept into the elderly lady's face.

"I'm glad to be of service," it was saying, and again I couldn't help wondering how much money Death might have handed to her.

Being clean from head to toe made me feel a lot better. I looked at my new wardrobe and chose a white long-sleeved blouse and a reddish long skirt.

Getting dressed was quite odd to me because of the new and unfamiliar underwear. I had to deal with a corset and a broad garter belt with light brown stockings made of fine wool. A pair of knee-length underpants and a short vest had to go with it.

I asked Mrs Cosmopilit to give me a hand with the corset. Fortunately, it had little hooks on the front so I hadn't to retie it every morning. The first moment was rather strange. It took a few minutes until my ribcage and my breathing had adjusted to the corset's tight grip.

When Rincewind dropped by, the wizard was deeply relieved to see that my mood had brightened up. He looked at my new clothes and blushed slightly.

"Pretty," he said before he cleared his throat and asked for details. When he learned who had been my benefactor he frowned a bit but held his tongue.

We spent the night eating and talking until dawn, and just like Death, Rincewind asked me to tell him about Roundworld. I tried to explain him things like techniques and stuff. But I saw he didn't get it right. Nonetheless, he listened without a single interruption.

"By the way, I'd like to ask you a favour, Rincewind, if you don't mind," I said when the night drew to a close. Both of us had grown tired. Rincewind lied on top of my blanket. I had changed into a long nightgown and had crept underneath.

"Which one?" he asked.

"I have to find my ways in the city," I explained. "I wonder if you'd show me around in Ankh-Morpork."

"Fine by me," the wizard agreed. Then he yawned suddenly, rested his head on his arm und closed his eyes. A few seconds later I could hear him snoring quietly.

I kept looking at him a little bit longer.

I was enjoying Rincewind's company a lot. He was patiently in explaining things. He could be amusing if he wanted. I noticed that I had begun to develop feelings for him.

On the one hand, the situation of nascent affection was exciting for me. On the other hand, it was worrying me. For I had no earthly idea how Rincewind's reaction might be.

I remembered the two times when he had held my hand during his sleep. The first time hadn't seemed to bother him much. Very unlike the second time. He had reminded me of a little boy who had done something strictly forbidden yet highly enjoyable.

Later on that day, Rincewind and we went to see the city. The wizard showed me the direct way from Quirm Street to Gleam Street {which happened to be more than just one to take}, the patrician's palace, several pubs and restaurants, the opera house, Hide Park, Plaza of Broken Moons, Temple of Small Gods and Small Gods' Cemetery and the numerous bridges crossing the Ankh.

Where-ever we went I noticed people turning their heads on us, going in a huddle and whispering. Some were just looking at me but a few were brave enough to give me a nod. Among the whispering I heard one word more than once.

"Roundworld-Miss," people were saying. Rincewind gave me a broad grin when I asked him about it.

"News are used to spread very, very fast here in Ankh-Morpork, you know," he said, "News of particular importance, that it. Things you don't see every day, like you." Blushing slighty again, he looked at me from the corner of his eyes. Not unlike someone who had said something he didn't intend to.

„News of particular importance?" I repeated. I liked the sound of these words the same I liked the sound of the word "Roundworld-Miss".

There was another change that walk through the city was featured by. The wizard's behaviour had changed a bit. He still was patiently explaining everything to me, of course. He still was polite. But he tried very hard not to touch me, even in the slightest way. When it happened by accident, like when his elbow brushed my arm, he flinched back and went crimson.

By nightfall we returned to the guesthouse. I looked into Rincewind's face and somehow I wondered what he would do now.

The wizard lifted his hand as if to put it on my shoulder. But then he hesitated. The hand rested in the air and then dropped back down.

"Er... I... er... I have to... have to go now...er..." That was all he could say.

"What's so wrong with you?" I asked before I could stop myself.

"Nothing," the wizard said tight-lipped. His facial expression, however, told a rather different story beneath the wide brim of his hat.

"Did I offend you in any way?" I inquired. "If so, I'm very sorry."

"No," the wizard said. I could see the lie in his eyes. I sighed and closed my eyes.

"So what is it then?" I asked again. This time I really had to struggle for self-restraint. But Rincewind's only reply was a muttering I couldn't understand.

"I'm sorry. I really didn't want to cause any trouble for you."

Rincewind remained silent. He looked grieved. I couldn't stand his uneasiness any longer.

"It's just that I... I... I like your company, Rincewind, and I like you," I said. A hint of astonishment spread in the wizard's face.

"You do?" he wondered. I nodded. The wizard gave me a doubtful look and asked, "But why?"

"You're a really nice guy," I said quietly, "And you helped me when nobody else would."

"That's nothing but nonsense," the wizard protested. But he didn't sound very confident. He knew I was right.

We were standing around for a few minutes in silence until I hanged my head, turned around and went into my room. I heard the wizard standing around a little bit longer, shuffling his feet and muttering. But then he went away.

I stood for a while in silence. Then I sighed. I had enjoyed the wizard's company a lot. His presence had made me feel safe. But now all of this seemed to be over.

Why did I have to loose control on my feelings? This hadn't been the first time to happen in my life. In fact, it had happened quite often, and I had been ashamed of myself every time. Why had it to be so complicated to have feelings for someone?

This was one of the moments I really envied Death for his stony face.

The following days became stressful. I did my best to please William de Worde, my boss. And I did quite successful. Every now and then, Death dropped me a visit to see how I was doing. Besides, everybody seemed to have learned about "Roundworld-Miss" because everybody I met faced me with respectful and friendly curiosity.

There was one morning, e. g., when I had overslept and had to hurry up. The streets looked all the same to me. I looked around and realized that I had lost my way. Suddenly I bumped into someone.

"Hey!" A complaining voice spoke up near my waist. Bemused, I took a step back. In front of me stood a short man of very slight build with his hand on his belt. A yellowish helmet sat on his head. His upper body was covered by a curcass not fitting properly. He wore a thin home-made cigarette in the left corner of his mouth.

A taller man stood next to him. He was wearing a similar yet fitting curcass. His eyes peered suspiciously from beneath a helmet pulled far down. There was an evaluating glance in them I connected with a chief or a leader. This second man seemed to be a tough costumer to deal with. The impression was completed by an unshaven chin and a cigar in the corner of his mouth.

The short man gave me an angry look. He had to crane his neck to do so.

"You got eyes, gal?" he snarled.

"I'm sorry," I replied, "I'm in a rush and wasn't paying attention. I'm looking for the editorial office of Ankh-Morpork Times. It's in Gleam Street for all I know but I seemed to have lost my way."

"Yep. You're all lost, gal," the dwarfish man snorted snidely, "No Gleam Street around here, I can tell you. That's what I call tough luck!"

The other man looked me over and pulled something from his pocket that resembled a small lizard. But I changed my mind quickly when the little creature suddenly spat fire. The man lit his cigar and looked at me again.

"Who are you, gal?" a deep and very rasp voice asked.

"My name is BeeJay," I replied.

The men exchanged glances. The shorter one knit his brows before he brightened up.

"You're the one they call Roundworld-Miss, are you?" he asked. I nodded and smiled. Immediately, the small man's behaviour changed completely. He took his helmet off, revealing a wild looking head of hair, and extended a small and rather delicate hand.

"Very pleased to meet you," he beamed, "I'm Corporal Nobby Nobbs."

"Likewise," I said, shaking his hand.

"Meet Commander Samuel Vimes," Nobby introduced his companion who just tipped his helmet and smiled at me.

"Sorry again," I said, "I didn't mean to bump into you, Nobby."

"No harm done." Nobby waved a hand. Then he seemed to remember why I had run into him.

"You're headed for Gleam Street, you say?" he asked. I agreed to that. The two watchmen volunteered to walk me to work strictly themselves.

The complaisant episode with the City Watch didn't remain the only one. A few days after this, two other uniformed men paid me a visit and handed me a message. It was an invitation from Lord Havelock Vetinari, the patrician of Ankh-Morpork, to come to the Oblong Office.

I grew a bit nervous when the tall and slender patrician stood in front of me and looked me over. Clad in black from head to toe, he gave an impressive sight. After a few minutes, the ghost of a smile touched his narrow face which was adorned by a black and carefully trimmed beard.

"So you are Roundworld-Miss. The one everybody talks about," he said in a quiet and educated tone of voice.

"Yes, Mylord," I said and dropped a curtsy, remembering my manners.

Lord Vetinari pointed towards a table nearby. I noticed two plates and several bowls and plates with different kind of food and realized that a great honour was bestowed upon me.

Just like Death and Rincewind, Lord Havelock Vetinari asked me about Roundworld's details. His interest, however, concerned policy and finance. These were subjects I was quite unfamiliar with but I did my best to inform him. To my astonishment, the patrician was a very polite dialogue partner.

Furthermore, I was one of the few who weren't molested often by the Thieves' Guild. If they happened to cross my way, I wasn't beaten by them. Thanks to Nobby, as I learned much later.

"If anybody should be stupid enough to harm Roundworld-Miss, may the Gods have mercy on him," Nobby had declared. And the short watchman seemed to be a fighter to be reckoned with, by all means.

Same as the Thieves' Guild, the Beggars' Guild didn't molest me too much. But that didn't keep me from giving a few coins nonetheless, even to the Foul Ole Ron, the Duck Man or Coffin Henry, the members of Canting Crew who were no members of the guild.

However, the greatest surprise was given to me by the Assassins' Guild.

When I returned to the guesthouse on one night, an elder gentleman emerged from the shadow of a house. He was dressed in a black elegant suit. On his white hair sat a top hat.

"Evening," he said politely and raised the hat very gently as if it was a box with sleeping butterflies he didn't want to disturb. I decided just to nod.

"You're the one they call Roundworld-Miss, are you?", he continued in a knightly tone of voice, "I heard a great deal about you."

I dared to nod again and cleared my throat.

"So it is," I said, "And with whom do I have the pleasure?"

"My name is Lord Downey." The gentleman smiled.

This name rang a bell. Lord Downey. The president of the Assassins' Guild. And the most skilled preparer of poison in town, if my remembering didn't fail me. Instinctively, I stepped back.

"I see my reputation has apparently walked ahead of me," Lord Downey continued smiling.

"Well, who hasn't heard of Lord Downey, the famous president of the Assassins' Guild," I said with all politeness I had up my sleeve, "Is there something I can do for Your Lordship?"

"I came to pay my respects to you," the president replied. His hand slipped into his pocket and pulled out a small bag. I caught a smell of chocolate when he opened it. As a reflex, I extended my hand. But then, I reconsidered. Lord Downey uttered small laugh.

"Please, do help yourself," he offered, "I bought these in a shop around the corner. They're completely harmless, I can assure you. By the way, there are more dangerous things than chocolates. Sweets, e. g." He watched me taking two pieces, raised his hat again and left.

I waited until he had disappeared around the next corner. Then I tasted the chocolates, very carefully of course. To my surprise, all there was to taste was sugar, cacao and the flavour of vanilla. No poison at all.

Meanwhile I had become well-known in Ankh-Morpork. Life had become enjoyable except for one thing: I missed Rincewind. In fact, I missed him badly. Every night I woke up and couldn't help thinking of him.

It had been 3 weeks since he had shown up last time. I began to wonder if I hadn't been wrong to tell him about my feelings.

I really wondered what he might think about me now.


	7. Home

Once again, I woke up with a start for no particular reason. I got up to lite up a candle and had almost screamed when a hand touched my shoulder. I gulped and gave the hand a closer look. It was nothing but bones.

I drew a deep breathe and turned around. Death was standing behind me.

"Please, Death, never do that again," I sighed and sat on the edge of my bed.

"Sorry." The Grim Reaper had the decency to give me a slightly abashed look.

"I SEE YOU'RE DOING FINE SO FAR," he said. I nodded.

Half a year had passed since I had come to the city of Ankh-Morpork. My hair had grown down to the half of my back. Every day I made a braid to keep it tidy during the working hours. I had found a way to cope with the city's smell and heat and rain and snow.

Meanwhile, there were lots of people known to me. Among my acquaintances there were creatures like the troll Detritus or the werewolf Angua von Überwald, both of them belonging to the City Watch.

The other members of the City Watch liked me as well. Lady Sybil Deirdre Olgivanna Ramkin, the wife of Commander Samuel Vimes, had given me a bag to carry my things around. It was made of a smooth material I couldn't place. The black colour was shimmering iridescently.

"It's made of dragon skin," Lady Ramkin explained, "You know, Roundworld-Miss, the skins of dragons is extremely resistant. It can't be harmed by things like wetness, dirt and even fire."

The bag was big enough to put all my new dresses into and had a long strap like the shoulder bag I had owned once. A couple of buttons closed it tightly.

"I WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT YOUR HOUSE IS ALMOST READY," Death explained.

"Would you mind to run that by me again?" I wondered, "I thought I heard something like my house." Death nodded.

"I HAVE TAKEN THE LIBERTY TO MAKE A DWELLING AVAILABLE TO YOU."

I was really glad that I already had sit down. Otherwise, this sentence would have knocked me over. Death put his scythe on the floor, sat down on the chair, smoothed his cloak and began to talk.

About a month ago, the patrician had decided that it wasn't decent for me to stay at Mrs Marietta Cosmopilit's guesthouse any longer. To his opinion, I was entitled to have an own residence. Of course, nobody had objected for the patrician's order. And as I had shown up first in Unseen University, Lord Havelock Vetinari had summoned a couple of wizards to hear their opinion. The Archchancellor Mustrum Ridcully, the Dean and Rincewind had obeyed the invitation.

"So how did you get to know about this?" I interrupted.

"I HAVE WAYS TO BE UP TO DATE," Death said. He paused to see if I had any further questions. When I remained silent, he continued.

Death had watched to see what would happen. The faculty had discussed without end and success. So he had decided to interfere. Accompanied by his manservant Albert, he had called on a craftsman and had ordered a house for me.

"THERE ARE STILL A FEW DETAILS LEFT TO BE ARRANGED," the Grim Reaper said, "BUT THEN YOU CAN MOVE IN."

"And where is it?" I wondered.

"I CAN TAKE YOU THERE TOMORROW IF YOU LIKE." Death picked up his scythe and stood up. So did I.

"You have done so much for me, Death," I said, feeling slighty embarrassed, "I don't know how to thank you."

"NO," the Grim Reaper said, "THAT'S SOMETHING NO HUMAN BEING IS TO KNOW." He gently put his hand on my shoulder before he left through the next wall.

I sat down and stared into space. Then I started to smile.

I would have a home at last. I never had imagined that moment. But here it was: I was a citizen of Ankh-Morpork.

There was a small sound from the window. At first, I couldn't see anything out there but then I noticed a small movement in the shadows. A tall and thin figure in a pointy hat came closer.

"Rincewind!" I smiled broadly and opened the window. The wizard stopped in front of the window and raised his head. His face was all calm. And yet, there was something beyond this calmness.

"Come in!" I invited him. Rincewind reached out for the windowsill and pulled himself into the room. He went to the bed and sat down. Still he remained silent.

I looked at the failed wizard. His robe was even more tattered than I remembered. The hat was crumpled. The letters of the word "wizzard" had almost vanished. On the whole, Rincewind appeared to be very tired and a bit confused. He looked a sight. Carefully, I sat down next to him.

"How are you?" I asked. Rincewind sighed. He put his chin on a hand and gave me a glance.

"I have been thinking about the things you said," he said, his eyes wandering off.

"So, what do you think about it?"

"I think you're right."

"Right about what?"

"You wouldn't have survived without me."

I felt an urge to say something. But then I caught a glance of his eyes. He hadn't finished yet.

"But there is something I don't understand," the wizard continued, "You said you like me. Why? I know you already said something about it but I didn't get it right. So please tell me why."

I fell silent for a while until I knew what to say.

"I take you for a special man," I said. This made Rincewind smile a little for the first time.

"A special man in what?" he wondered.

"Well," I said after thinking a few minutes, "First of all, you tend to survive and escape from every danger without really bad injuries like, say, a broken leg or something. That's what I heard, at least. And... well... what else there is to say about you? You have a heart of gold, and you're a helpful person, and these are features I treasure in a person, you know. I enjoy your company. It makes me feel safe. To be in good hands, if I may say so."

I looked into the wizard's bright blue eyes and worked up my courage to say, "I have been thinking of you very often, Rincewind. I have been missing you."

Rincewind just looked at me for a minute.

"You really did?" he asked.

"I really did," I agreed.

For a while, nobody of us spoke. The mouth of the wizard twitched hard. There must be something urgent and important on his mind.

"Is there a problem?" I wondered. Rincewind nodded slowly.

"You're in trouble, are you?"

Again the wizard gave a slow nod. I looked at him full of expectation. After a couple of minutes, he started to talk.

He had been thinking of me very often as well, he said. But there had been a lot of gossip about him and me wandering around in Ankh-Morpork together. And of course, people had noticed him spending the night at my place. Therefore, Mustrum Ridcully had gotten wind of the whole case. The way Rincewind put it, the Archchancellor hadn't jumped for joy about it. Far from it: Mustrum Ridcully had taken Rincewind for task and had twitted him very hard.

A wizard wasn't allowed to delve into females. That was, Rincewind explained, because doing so would interfere with magic. Everything important to wizardry was regulated by laws considered as irrevocable. Same was here.

"But I couldn't forget you, Miss Barbara," Rincewind said in a quiet and timid voice, "Still, I can't. You've been nice to me. And you had confidence in me."

"That doesn't happen very often, does it?" I quietly asked. The magician shook his head again, looking crestfallen.

I looked at him and made a decision. We were getting along quite good. I wanted it to remain like that. And I didn't want him to leave.

Carefully, I put my hand onto his and hoped that he wouldn't reject it. Rincewind looked at the hand and seemed to resist for one or two second. But then he wrapped his long fingers very gently around my hand.

"I... er... I'm not really used to... I mean... that somebody likes me... without anything bad happening," he finally said.

"Do you think you could get used to it?" I quietly asked. Rincewind gave this a long thought. Finally he shrugged.

"I can't say," he said, "Nobody asked me that before." For a while, he just looked around in silence.

"But I think it's worth a try when you're concerned."

"Thank you so very much," I replied, not knowing exactly whether I was being sarcastic or not. On second thought, sarcasm was out of the question.

"You know, I've become acquainted with just very few women in my life," the wizard tried to explain, "I think you're a good one."

Sometimes in my life, I happen to have a sudden flash of wit or inspiration. Then my mouth runs away from my brain. Same happened now.

"Are we talking spaghetti with custard or beer soup here?" I said, remembering something I had read in Discworld novel once.

Rincewind turned his head so slowly I could hear his neck creaking like the hinges of an old door. He looked at me for a few minutes dumbfounded before he started laughing out loud.

I couldn't help joining it. The wizard's laughter was catching because it was unexpected.

Rincewind tried to control himself but it took him almost half an hour to stop laughing again. Laughter became giggles and finally died away. He wiped the corners of his eyes and took a very deep breath.

"Thank you, Miss Barbara," he said softly, straightening up again, "I think I'd needed this." He took my hand and smiled at me. I noticed that his eyes had changed a bit. They were shining much more intensive than before.

"Humour is an incredible aphrodisiac," a wise man had once said. The look in the wizard's eyes proved it right. Rincewind seemed to have gotten a positive push. He was still smiling. I returned it and caressed the back of his hand. .

I awoke when the new day was dawning. I opened my eyes and looked at Rincewind's face. Still asleep, the wizard was holding my hand. That was a sight that I was used to. This time, however, he was lying next to me, underneath the blanket.

After I had changed for bed, we had been awake for a long time, had held each other's hand and had talked. When we had laid down, Rincewind had been a bit uneasy about this. But I had shown him that he really could trust me. I even had made him take off his boots, his cloak and his coat before coming to bed. He had done so but he had insisted that I had to blow out the candle first. And he had kept his hat, of course.

Carefully and tenderly, I had touched his face. To my surprise, his beard was much softer than it looked. And I had learned that Rincewind liked to be caressed at his chin and behind his ears.

The wizard blinked at me and opened his eyes. There was a small expression of fear which disappeared again very quickly.

"Good Morning," I said.

"Morning," the wizard replied. He smiled at me and caressed the back of my hand.

We stayed in bed a little longer until Rincewind remembered that he had work to do at the University. He got dressed and left. When he reached the door, he turned around and gave me an odd smile.

I left the guesthouse myself a few minutes later to go to work and bought some fruits on Sator Square.

The time until noontime didn't seem to come but finally it was time for lunch. I ate a Klatchian pizza and wanted to stroll back to the editorial office when I heard a voice next to me say, "HELLO." I turned around and saw Death.

"Hello," I said.

"ARE YOU READY TO SEE YOUR NEW HOUSE?"

"I am but we must make haste. My break is just half an hour and it's almost done."

"DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT," Death said, actually smiling a little, "TIME WON'T BE THE PROBLEM IF I WANT."

The Grim Reaper turned around and went through the next alley. Finally, the tall skeleton turned around a few corners and stopped again. I looked around and noticed we were close to Plaza of Broken Moons. Sator Square and Unseen University were nearby, too.

Death pointed towards a small half-timbered house. The timbers were black as coal compared with the white plaster. The doors and the shutters were red. The roof was covered with dark wooden shingles.

"So this it is?" I asked. Death nodded, grabbed the doorknob and turned it to push the door open.

I saw a wide room that was separated into kitchen and bedroom. It was parted by a huge kitchen stove. Its stove-pipe connected with another one and disappeared through the ceiling.

The entire furniture was made of dark, almost black wood. There was a huge dinner table, two chairs, an upholstered bench, a smaller table with a small iron tub on top and a small cupboard beneath the window for the kitchen and a bed and a massive wardrobe for the bedroom. Next to the small table there was a small old-fashioned water pump.

I touched the small cupboard. The wood was cool against my hand. I opened it and discovered a small drawer. It was sealed with several layers of wax and filled with crushed ice.

"I THOUGHT IT MIGHT BE A NICE SURPRISE," Death said, "YOU TOLD ME ABOUT THIS WAY TO KEEP FOOD FRESH ON ROUNDWORLD, REMEMBER?"

I nodded and discovered a small door between the bed and the front door. Questioningly, I looked at Death.

"OPEN IT."

Behind the door was a small bathroom with an iron tub on four pad-like feet and another small stove whose stove-pipe disappeared through the wall. Behind a curtain there was a privy with an iron jug next to.

"This is indeed a wonderful house, thank you, Death," I said, "I wonder about the second stove-pipe in the living room. Where does it come from?"

"FROM THE CELLAR. THERE IS ANOTHER STOVE DOWN THERE. DO YOU WANT TO SEE IT?"

"Some other time. I guess it might be a good idea to get back by now."

"MIGHT BE."

I was in high spirits for the rest of the day and hardly could wait to go home. On the way back to the guesthouse I ran across Corporal Nobby Nobbs. The small watchman was very pleased to see me. This time he was with a muscular man I didn't know and who stood at least 6 feet.

"Meet Captain Carrot Ironfoundersson," Nobby said, "How are you, Miss?" I told him what I was up to. The two watchmen offered their help to carry my things and protect me.

"Anyway, it's quite far from here," Captain Carrot said calmly, "And the way could be dangerous, Miss."

"But don't you worry, Miss. Anyone who wants to harm you has to face me first." Nobby blew his lankly chest. I couldn't help smiling.

"Now I really feel protected. Thank you, Nobby."

I packed my bags and bid farewell to Mrs Cosmopilit. She hugged me and handed me a small leathern bag. When I opened it I saw a lot of different sized coins.

"That's the rest of the money your friend has paid for the room," the elder lady said, "It would be wrong to keep it now when you're moving, don't you think?"

I nodded. I really understood. Even if Mrs Cosmopilit may not know who really had given the money to her.

Thanks to the two watchmen, I reached my new home unharmed. They gave me a hand when I put my things away. Nobby Nobbs even had been able to spark a fire in the kitchen stove and the cellar stove. The fire was crackling and warming up my home.

I laid in bed and listened to the sounds of the fire and the cracking of the woods. All those sounds made a pleasurable and comforting choir.

Life was good.


	8. Ridcully's Decision

I had settled down in my new house. Some of my acquaintances had paid me a visit. Commander Vimes and his wife had been the first one to come and bring some presents.

Lady Ramkin had given me a few pots, a tea kettle, two pans, a cake tin and a baking tray. Samuel Vimes had added kitchenware, silverware and a tea pot. Thus I could offer a cup of tea.

By now, I had managed kitchen work quite good despite I lacked technical tools. Cooking was much more complicated now, and so I was very proud of myself when I had made my first unburned and even relishable loaf of bread.

Apart from the kitchenware, Lady Ramkin gave me a long cloak to protect me from wet. The cloak was made of a black iridescent material that resembled leather or snake skin.

"It's made of dragon skin, just like your bag, Miss," Lady Ramkin explained, "So this cloak will keep you safe from wet and dirt and even fire."

Mustrum Ridcully came as well to pay his respects. He brought a couple of presents, among them a stuffed deer head I could use as a wardrobe.

The patrician sent me a passport and a letter that said how important it was not to become disreputable.

Little by little, everyone I knew came to drop me a visit. There was only one exception.

A whole month had passed since Rincewind and me had been sleeping side by side underneath the blanket. The wizard hadn't shown up again. Unfortunately, I couldn't go into Unseen University and look after him. Women weren't allowed to enter unless they were accompanied or invited by a wizard. And even the "Roundworld-Miss" had to stick to this rule.

At last, there was one of the notorious Ankh-Morporkian nights when even the dogs aren't allowed to go out. Wind and rain were raging in the darkness. I had put on my nightgown to lay down when there was quiet rapping at my front door.

It was Rincewind. I cheerfully invited him in. The wizard looked slightly different. His coat, his hat and his cloak were still red and ornamented with sequins, but they looked new. Rincewind was wet to the bones. Yet he didn't seem to care about it. He was grinning broadly.

"I have to show you!" he exclaimed and shooed me into the middle of the room.

"Stay there!" he advised me exhilarated, "Just stay there and look!"

"What is it?"

"You'll see!" He extended his hands, palms up, as if he was forming a bowl and started to murmur.

A little blueish rose began to bloom in his palms. When it opened, I caught the sweet smell of vanilla. The flower rose from Rincewind's palms and hovered through the air, coming close to me. When I reached out to touch it, it vanished into thin air. Rincewind lowered his hands and gave me a proud grin.

"Was this magic?" I wondered. The wizard nodded. Smiling, I hugged him. Rincewind hesitated for moment before he hugged me back.

"That was wonderful," I said softly, "How did you come to this?"

"I don't know for sure," the wizard said, "But just a few days ago, I remembered a spell I learned once. I almost had forgotten it. But I could remember every word!" He started to tremble which reminded me at the condition of his clothes.

"You have to take off the wet clothes before you'll catch a cold," I said, "And I think a hot bath won't do you any harm." I released him and went to heat water on the bathroom stove. Then I led Rincewind into the bathroom and closed the door.

I went to check my supplies and fix some food. Possibly, Rincewind might be hungry.

There were a few potatoes at hand, some pieces of fried meat, salt and pepper, milk, a small mug of cream, some butter and some cheese. I peeled the potatoes, cut them into pieces and added the pieces of meat. Then I added some cheese. Finally, I stirred milk, cream, salt and pepper, added the mixture to the potatoes, the cheese and the meat and put it in the oven.

I wiped my hands at a small towel and went to look after Rincewind.

The wizard had made himself at home. He was lying in the tub, both arms were resting on the edge of it, and his head was laid back as far as possible. His clothes, except for the hat, of course, were lying next to the tub.

When I entered, he lifted his head and smiled at me.

"You're doing all right?" I asked. The wizard nodded and drew a deep breath.

"I'm fine," he said and gave me a highly pleased glance.

"How did the flower thing happen?" I knelt down in front of the tub.

"I'm not really sure. It started after I was at your place last time. There was a change I had felt when I left your house but I didn't really bother.

A few days ago, I was in the office, sorting rocks and getting thirsty suddenly. I was thinking of some wine or beer, and then a little bottle had appeared in front of me. It was very small and rather transparent and unstable. Just like the flower I showed you. But it was the first time I had been able to do real magic on my own. So I started practising. By now, I'm even able to control it a bit." Rincewind gave me a proud grin.

"So you can do real magic now?"

"Well... I wouldn't put it that way," the wizard said, looking slightly embarrassed out of the blue, "I can't create anything permanent yet. But I noticed that I've got fewer problems with remembering spells now. Since we admitted the fondness of each other, that is."

"Is it?" Somehow this made me happy and touched me all the same. Rincewind nodded.

"What about your new robe?"

"Ridcully gave it to me, together with the new hat. To give me credit for my numerous jobs."

I remembered that Rincewind was doing every job in the university nobody else would. He was holding every chair or lectureship that had to be occupied because tradition and other things demanded them to be. On the whole, he had almost 20 jobs to do.

"Suits you."

"Do you really think so?"

"I do. And I'm very proud of you," I said and caressed his cheek. Compared to his previous magic, creating of transparent flowers and bottles was a real step ahead. It was just a small improvement, of course. But every journey has to begin with a small step.

Still, the wizard was smiling at me. My hand stayed on his cheek. I felt pushed forward until my lips touched his cheek. Rincewind winced for a second. But then he gave in to the kiss. He put his hand on my arm and let it creep up towards the shoulder.

Finally, I took my lips from his cheek again and saw that he had closed the eyes. His lips parted slightly when he sighed.

"That was wonderful," he whispered, "I didn't know that it... that it... that it would be so wonderful..." He pulled me tighter to him, rubbed his face against mine and returned the kiss.

It was an extremely soft and tender kiss. None of the other men I had met in my life had ever kissed me like that. My feelings for Rincewind had been reduced to their most elemental level. Now they shifted to overdrive. My heart cut a caper and danced points.

My legs turned to jelly and my palms became wet when Rincewind's lips parted from my cheek. It took me a while to be able to speak again.

"I'll... I'll go and... hang up your... your clothes," I said quietly, "And... dinner shall be ready... I guess you might be hungry."

"I could do with some food," Rincewind said. Softly, the tip of his thump caressed my neck.

Despite of my unsteady legs, I managed to get up, pick up Rincewind's clothes and bring them into the basement where I used to wash and dry my own clothing. The big oven gave constant warmth to the room. I hanged the wizard's clothes on clothesline and went back into the kitchen. Delicious smell indicated that potato-and-meat casserole was done. I set the table for two people, took the baked dish from the oven and put it on the table.

Then I went to look after Rincewind again.

The wizard was still in the tub. He had his eyes half-closed. Still, the hat sat on his head. Rincewind seemed to be at one with the world. One of his hands had dropped onto his belly into the water. The other one still rested on the edge of the tub.

I knelt down in front of the tub again and couldn't help smiling. Semi-somnolent, the wizard's face appeared to be younger. I was getting an impression how he might have looked in former times. Before all these adventures and escapades his scarred body was testifying to.

I carefully tucked a few hairs behind his ears and kissed his cheek again. This time, my lips hit the corner of his mouth. Rincewind turned his head a little bit as his lips searched my mouth. His hand crept back onto my shoulder.

If I had to choose one thing to last for the rest of my lift, it would be this one kiss, I thought when I felt his lips pressing against mine.

The kiss felt tender. And most of it all, it felt agreeable and right to me. When our lips parted I opened my eyes again and looked into the bright blue eyes of Rincewind which were shining like sapphires. He smiled and caressed my hair.

"Dinner is ready," I said quietly, "Are you coming?"

"Certainly will."

"You'll find some towels and a bathrobe over there." I kissed the wizard again and returned to the kitchen.

Clad into a dry towel, his boots and my bathrobe, Rincewind came out of the bathroom. Mrs Whitlow had knitted the bathrobe for me. It fitted me perfectly, but as Rincewind stood taller than me, the robe ended at his calves.

We dined, looking into each other's eyes and talking quietly until the night drew to a close. Then we went to bed. Yet we didn't feel like sleeping.

"Are you alright?" I asked, lying on my back. Rincewind who was still wearing my bathrobe had rested in my arm. He enjoyed me running my fingers through his hair and caressing his neck. He raised his head and straightened up on his elbows.

"Yes," he said and kissed my cheek, "I'm alright. I'm fine, to be exact. I would like to wake up more often next to you and see your beautiful face first." He kissed my mouth. Then he fell silent and grimaced.

"What's wrong?"

"I just thought of..."

"What?"

"Well... a situation like this... is difficult for a wizard... you see?"

I had to give that a thought before the penny dropped. As mentioned before, the relationship between wizards and women was complicated. One of the regulations said that keeping company with women would harm the magic. Wizards weren't allowed to get married as well because family and wizardry wouldn't match. If a wizard would mess about a woman, it would lead to Sourcery sooner or later – the strongest and least controllable magic there was. Nobody could let that happen, and there were iron laws to set a seal on this. Yet, I couldn't see any connection between this law and us lying in my bed.

"What are you driving at?" I asked.

"We might get in trouble if we're not careful," the wizard said, "Ridcully's severe lecture was something I could have done without." I felt his hair standing on the end. He seemed to sense trouble round the next corner.

"Nobody needs to know," I suggested, "We could meet in secret."

"Meet in secret? In Ankh-Morpork?" Rincewind uttered a little sardonic laugh, "You must be joking. Here, everybody knows everything. Especially where you're concerned, if you pardon my saying so."

Understanding dawned to me. We hadn't intended falling in love. Yet somehow it had happened. And it resulted in dire consequences.

"Isn't there anything we can do about it?" I asked, "After all, your magic improved since we have developed feelings, didn't it?"

"Well, yes," the wizard admitted.

"And you like being with me, don't you?"

"Of course I am!" Rincewind bent across me and kissed the tip of my nose.

"I enjoy your presence a lot. I could imagine seeing you more often," he added, "But I don't know how we could do that." He laid back on the pillow, put an arm around me and toyed with my braid.

"What if we'd talk to Ridcully?" I suggested. Horror crept into Rincewind's face.

"You want to talk to Ridcully? To such a hard-headed and stubborn man?" he wondered.

"After all, he is the Archchancellor," I argued, "If anybody could change the laws, it's him, isn't it?"

"Of course he could change the laws, but he never will," the wizard said, "He's adamant about everyone to observe the laws."

"Please, let's give it a try," I begged. It was the first time in my life to feel ease with a man. Rincewind enjoyed tenderness the way I did. He didn't press me and made me feel safe and secure. I didn't want to miss this situation again. Rincewind's blue eyes showed the impression that he felt the same way.

For a while, the wizard wrestled with himself. Finally, he sighed hard, caressed my cheek and gave me a long and tender kiss.

"Okay, I stand corrected," the wizard said, "Let's talk to Ridcully." I took the scrawny wizard's body in my arms and hugged him. Rincewind returned the hug. But I still could feel doubts in him.

Two days later, Rincewind and I went to Unseen University. We had shared tenderness during these days. So I felt confident. Rincewind, however, didn't have a good feeling about it.

"Ridcully won't be pleasant about this, you know," he said, grimacing, "I can imagine what he'll have to say about this." He rolled his eyes and continued, "What if nobody would stick to the rules, he'd say. Disorder and chaos, he'd say. The end of wizardry, he'd say."

I couldn't help giving him a look of disbelief. Rincewind's gaze didn't change.

"Trust me," he said, "I know him."

Archchancellor Ridcully's fist hit the table in front of him.

"No and no again!" he shouted. His voice was so loud it almost cracked my ear-drum.

"I can't allow that! With all due respect, Miss Meta, this is going too far! I mean, what if nobody would stick to the rules anymore?! It doesn't bear thinking about the consequences! Disorder would rise! Chaos would follow! I might be the end of wizardry!"

"Told you," I heard Rincewind murmur from the corner of his mouth.

"My love is very important for Rincewind. After all, it improved his magic," I objected, "So what's so wrong about it?"

"It's just not alright!" Ridcully protested. "The laws are not to avoid, my dear Miss."

I fell silent. This seemed to be a much more complicated undertaking than I thought. But then a flash of wit came to me.

"I remember something a wise man said once, Archchancellor Ridcully," I said, "Everything about laws are rules, he said, and everything about rules are guidelines." Nobody needed to know I was quoting Mustrum Ridcully himself.

"So you do expect me to turn a blind eye?" Ridcully folded his arms in front of his chest.

"No, Archchancellor, that wasn't what I meant. But if it really is that way with laws and rules and guidelines, it's nothing but a matter of interpretation, is it? And no rule is saying that a wizard is not allowed to feel fondness for somebody, is it?".

For a while, Mustrum Ridcully seemed to be lost for word. But the silence didn't last very long.

"But love will result in a marriage, isn't it?" he argued.

"Not necessarily, Sir," I said, "I don't intend to get married."

"Me neither," Rincewind piped in, giving me a look. He took my hand and said, "All I want to do is to spend more time with Barbara. I... I love her, Sir."

Mustrum Ridcully wrestled with himself. Something deep inside seemed to resist against an agreement. Finally he sighed.

"Love is indeed something important. You're right about this, Miss," he said, "All the richness of Discworld can't balance it. The richness of Roundworld can't either. And, well... I have been young once myself." He looked at Rincewind and me and gave us a nod.

"Alright. You have the allowance," he said, "If Professor Rincewind won't neglect his duty, that is."

"Certainly won't." Rincewind stepped ahead and shook the Archchancellor's hand. So did I. We left the office before the Archchancellor could reconsider. Rincewind walked me back to the gate.

"Are you content with this arrangement?" I asked. The wizard nodded and smiled, "I would have expected worse." He glanced around, smiled at me and kissed my lips. The kiss was brief yet very tender.

"Will you be home tonight?" he asked.

"Certainly will if you'll come by," I said, "I guess you'll be hungry?"

"Certainly will if there's a potato dish tonight."

I just smiled, caressed Rincewind's hand and went home.

The wizard showed up when the sun was setting. I had fried a chicken and had made creamed mash. Again, Rincewind and me dined and talked until Midnight passed.

When we were lying in bed together, I felt happy. I had found friends. I owned a home. And best of all, I had found a good man.

Being in love, life on Discworld was wonderful for me.


End file.
